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ivettehomestuck:

almondskeyess:

no but really short people are so mean dude. i got a lot of short friends and they kinda scare me

us tall people are so nice and soft-hearted and everyone always picks on us for being tall and we’re like “haha yeah”

short people will easily start planning a murder if u pick on them

It’s because they’re closer to hell.

skellertone:

anal eyes analyze anal lies

When people say ‘This is my baby,’ they don’t always mean a baby. Sometimes they mean a dog.
A Somali student, on what has surprised her most about the United States (via dutchster)

literallysame:

this is a masterpiece 

Cashier: That'll be $4.03
Me: I only have $4...
Cashier: That's ok, I have the three cents
Me: ...........
Cashier: ........
Me: what are we?

yung-lipton:

These hit the blunts tweets 😂😂💀

1dasfuk:

started from the bottom

image

now we’re here

image